Never Good Enough

There is a lot out there about kid's poor self-esteem. Not so much about parent's waning sense of self. Why not? Because it's taboo. Parents fly in the door, urgently pleading with their child to hurry up before anyone has even said, "hi." Why? Because they are late!! Because everyone is scheduled and double booked and … Continue reading Never Good Enough

I don’t know…..

I'm often asked about how to get kids to talk. Parents, teachers and coaches often struggle with getting kids to open up. One of the most popular responses that kids often have when we initially ask them a question is, "I don't know." A common  impulse is to amp up our questioning, "helping" them come … Continue reading I don’t know…..

Good Intentions

My mother used to talk about a certain path to a very hot place being paved with good intentions. For the longest time, I thought having an intention was useless, that it didn't mean much at all. However, when I had children of my own I came to understand what it means to be well … Continue reading Good Intentions

Stop that Child!

Ever have the opportunity to observe children who ignore their parents, children who are totally in control of what happens in the family?  I recently watched as a little boy of about eleven grabbed some candy from a candy bowl in a professional office.  His mother immediately told him to put the candy back.  He … Continue reading Stop that Child!

Perspective

As I sat at a stop light the other day, I watched  a mother and her “10ish” aged little girl step into the crosswalk.  The little girl was very thin, eyebrow-less and wearing a bright pink turban.  I felt sad, for it immediately became obvious to me that this was a child getting chemotherapy.  A … Continue reading Perspective

When Children Lie

“Courtney is just plain sneaky,” her mother explains to me.  “She looks like an angel, but don’t let that fool you!”  As I listen to mom’s long litany of Courtney's most recent transgressions, I have a hard time imagining that this tiny little girl of five, could possibly be capable of such shenanigans.  As her … Continue reading When Children Lie

Spanking

I’ve received some comments from parents of late, related to my blog on “Old School Parenting.”  There are those who have interpreted my account of this story as judgment around “spanking.”  People attached to spanking, remember with fondness their own childhoods where such techniques were employed.  They feel convicted that this is the “right” way … Continue reading Spanking

Punishment vs. Natural Consequences

I feel very strongly that punishment has no role to play in childrearing.  If Joey is spanked because he stole a candy bar, he may try to avoid a spanking in the future, but he doesn't learn anything about stealing.  If Joey experiences the natural consequence of his action, if he is required to talk … Continue reading Punishment vs. Natural Consequences

Power

As animated, thinking, feeling, energetic beings, we are innately powerful.  How we use this power affects our overall energy and health, as well as the energy and health of those around us.  I often find the metaphor of the elements helpful in assisting me to channel my power constructively vs. destructively.  We as parents, are … Continue reading Power

Home

It feels good to be back!  After 8 days of camping in the redwoods, sleeping in a tent and otherwise roughing it, my bed has never felt so good.  I'm not an avid camper.  I just participate in this get-away each year in order to socialize with extended family.  There is always an adjustment period, … Continue reading Home